Entering The Code Journey

A Journey Into The Code Connection

(as written by Jesse)

Throughout the years of my life, I have studied numerous things. For as long as I can remember, I wanted to understand the workings of things on Earth. 

Astrology was one of the first things I picked up. It was so intriguing how someone could tell me what would happen in my day.

Even as a child there was nothing like looking up into the sky. It could have been to see what shapes the clouds were making; or to gaze at the stars. There seemed to be so much mystery and excitement in how big and expansive it was.

I also, had a strong connection with nature. I couldn’t wait to get out in it. Sometimes, that was for exploring the Redwoods or National Forests, other times it was exploring the ocean. Basically, it didn’t really matter what it was, just as long as I could connect with the elements.

Even as a child, I could tell by the breeze whether things were taking a favorable or unfavorable turn in my life; or the lives of those that I knew. Yes, I am one of those people that can usually feel when autumn is preparing to come. I often have been able to smell when the first snow of winter was ready to come in.

A roaring campfire at summer camp; seemed to always connect me with myself in some way. Maybe it was the communion of people coming together, or the silent reflection it offered, or any other numerous things in my life. Perhaps it was the time to be still and quiet; a pause from all the responsibilities and obligations I had in the world. Simply put, it was a place of acceptance.

It seems that we often have connections in things early in life that later become important aspects to who we are. In addition to nature, I often felt a strong bond with many animals, particularly cats. Growing up we almost always had a cat around the house. It was having a cat in my life, which saw me through the highs and lows; and probably literally saved my life, more times than I can count.

I know now, it was probably the unconditional love that an animal offers us; which really allowed me to see my way through things. They have a way of bringing you into the present. They don’t run off when things get a little challenging; and they always are ready to cuddle up or make you laugh.

My thirst for wisdom and understanding; has never subsided. While I don’t have to know everything, I still enjoying understanding the truth of things. A thirst of power in my youth; has now shifted to an appreciation of simply being able to see and connect with the truth of something, without judgment of what it is.

Lying has been a pet peeve of mine, for as long as I can remember. I believe this is because of how many lies and deceptions I have worked through in my life. Perhaps, it was the bullying that I endured throughout my childhood. Still, it could be the manipulation of people I trusted or was supposed to be able to trust. It seems that repeatedly in my life, the truth was unfolding before me; crumbling what I thought I knew, to be true.

Over time, I have learned the value of this process; no matter how disappointed I felt in the moment. Things that I thought were true accomplishments; often turned out to be nothing more than who had the budget to make it happen. I can’t count the number of times I thought I was aligned with something positive and real; only to find out the real lies and deception behind it later in life.

I suppose we could all relate to that aspect of wiser in reflection. And this brings me to the aspect of wanting to always know how to decipher through the web of lies. If the illusions are so strong and deep; how can we ever know what is true and what isn’t?

It is in this constant questioning, that my journey unfolded. My curiosities as a child; became areas of study as I got a little older. Even as a very young child, I remember having premonitions at the age of 3. Dreams and visions were a constant in my life; and it wasn’t until later on that I found out not everyone dreamed in color as if it was real life.

My studies led to unfolding more and more of my “gifts”. By the time I was 8, I was trying to teach myself about planets and astrology; and trying to find books on living spiritually and that talked about the influences around us. Almost anything connected to the paranormal or metaphysical realms was for me. I was beyond intrigued by the connection of creating things in my life and understanding the world.

By the time I reached my teens, I was actively studying and practicing magic and rituals. I was learning all about auras and healing. Anything connected to herbs and holistic healing beckoned me. I was interested in understanding different beliefs and practices all around the world. I had friends of all different cultures and belief systems, which I loved spending time with. I found so much beauty in the meaning behind things.

My quest to learn how to harness my gifts and energy continued. Eventually, I have brought myself to understanding this innate drive within me. Now, having studied and incorporated over 50 different practices in my work; I have a vast range of things to draw on, connected with Divine or God Presence.

Part of my real learning came in letting go of the traditional meanings and aspects of these tools and learning how they came together for me. After moving to Southern Utah to be closer to my mother in her later years, after my father had passed on; I started unfolding some family history. It showed, that on one side of the family there was a long lineage of healers and spiritual advisors, and on the other side of the family a long lineage of Druidic Practitioners. That put me at around the 13thgeneration for this energy. Mix that up with a little American Indian, a little piece of African, and who knows what else in addition to the European “mutt” mix; and it all starts to make sense.

It was during this time, I really unfolded an understanding of why my whole life I had been drawn to this path of understanding life, how things work, and the wisdom in the world of symbolism and energy movement and alignment. It was my time in Utah, which I also found my voice to really share my message; and unfold what it was. Clear as day it came to me, that I was to focus on Compassion; and how people can bring that into their everyday lives, without spending a dime.

It was also during this period, that I came to understand all of the manipulation and control patterns that had been evident in my life. The truth was unfolding everywhere. Partly, to allow me to shift course where I was being a victim; and to realize how these patterns became evident in my life. It was quite an emotional ride, which eventually led to a long-time friendship ending, as well as some highs and lows.

Difficult times were hitting my life; and I was feeling powerless and helpless. Hard decisions had to be made; and they weren’t pleasant ones. I also knew that they were ones that most people would not understand; and that would create some unfavorable judgments by others.

I was in a period that just didn’t make sense. How could my life be falling apart so badly, when I was sharing all this great work? How could things be so rough when I was living in Compassion?

What I realized, is that what seemed to be falling apart was really coming together.

The reality of it was, that with all of my awareness and understanding; I still didn’t have the pieces that explained things like this. I still didn’t have the pieces that explained why life is so rough for some, and so easy for others. Yet, it was time to take a leap of faith.

I had to make a choice to leave Utah, at a time when my mother had little time left. I know that most will never truly understand this decision; and I am not certain my mother did either, as her health took a strong decline after my departure. It is something that I am not certain if I will ever be able to fully explain. It was ironic, that I had moved there to be near her for the rest of her life; and then was not there at the time of her passing.

About a year and a half prior to her passing, and a few months before going on tour full time with my work; my mother unfolded how she was manipulating me throughout my life. She disclosed all the ways that she was trying to control me; and how she was focused on changing my mind and trying to direct and control my choices and actions. As this was happening, it opened a huge door to realizing how this played out all through my life. I began to realize how this had been going on all of my life; and how it affected the relationships that I had. It had a great impact on my self-confidence and worthiness.

Now, don’t get me wrong; I am not blaming my mother for anything. Ultimately, the choices were mine. I was grateful to finally have this understanding and to begin to shift course. I concluded that enough was enough; and I was going to free myself from those that operated in this manner with me. It was heart-wrenching as the layers unfolded to me.

In the time of processing this information, among what felt like a crashing world, I started to take the time to focus on lots of releasing and clearing. I released a 5-year relationship, my sense of obligation to family (although I would still be there for them if truly needed); and a year later a 27-year friendship. I realized that I had to start living without allowing others to influence me; and started putting that in motion in my life.

I know that my mother had all the best intentions; and she did not mean harm. I know she just wanted the best for everyone. She had an enormous amount of love in her. I can’t even begin to express the hurt I saw in her eyes the day I had to leave. I also can’t express the spectrum of emotions going through me, to not be able to be there at the end of her life.

At the time that all of this was happening, I felt like an exhausted ocean swimmer, with a riptide about to pull me under. My refuge in all of this was the time I spent on a creek near where I was living. It was the one place that I could go to for some peace and connection with nature. I would take a break from my work about once a week; and go there to do some prayer work. I would find a little spot in the middle, so that the water would be all around me; and just be in connection with my soul and pray.

It was during this time, which the real code journey began.

It was late in the afternoon of June 9th, 2014. I had gone to the creek to pray. My heart was heavy with the decisions in my life; and the choices I was making at that time. I was getting ready to start a major new chapter in my life, which included leaving family, going from a 2400 sq ft. home to a 24 sq ft. vehicle. I was preparing to be on the road full time with my work; and living on a lot of hope and faith that things would work out somehow. 

I remember heading out to the creek. Out of the corner of my eye, I see a small animal.  At first, I thought was a small dog. It was common for people to stop there that were traveling in campers, and to let their dogs out. I was sure the owners must be nearby. Still, something didn’t seem quite right.

I was concerned; but thought, I can’t worry about this. I proceeded to walk up the creek a little way and to do my prayers. As I came back down the creek, this animal was still there; and I saw no one around. The closer I got; I realized that what I was seeing was a small cat. Cats did not come out to this area; there was wildlife that would make it too hard to survive.

By this time, I am feeling a bit puzzled. There was no way that I could possibly take a cat in. I was getting ready to be on the road; and feeling like I could barely take care of myself let alone a cat. Plus, cats are not always exactly the best travelers. However, I couldn’t just leave it there either.

I really don’t think my logical side had a chance in this. I am standing there in this situation; and I hear this “voice” (have had them all my life with being clairaudient) that says “your life depends on this choice”. My logical side is telling me, who knows what diseases it might have, etc. etc. etc. Yet, again, I hear “your life depends on this decision; what are you going to do?”

I could tell that somehow this cat had defeated all odds; and being that cats are never at this place, I knew this was a “test” or a soul path I had to walk. She was literally skin and bones, her eyes were crusted over; she could barely see. I could tell that she was listening to the sound of the creek to know where to drink the water. However, that worried me too, because the waters in this region are often contaminated with Girardia.

There was a waterfall right where she was drinking; and I was scared to approach her, in that I would startle her and be the cause of her going over the edge. So, I stood back a little way and called out to her. I said “hey, what are you doing?” She sat up and lifted her head and moved it from side to side a little. Thinking she was hearing voices, just put her head back down to drink some more. So, I said it again; and this time she turned her head towards me.

I then proceeded to say “yes, I am talking to you; what are you doing?” It was then, that she turned around and walked over to where I was standing; and sat down, right next to me. I could tell that this was not a cat, just a kindred soul in a cat’s body. We stood there for a couple of minutes in conversation.

I said, “you know, I am not really in a position to take a cat in right now; when I am getting ready to be on the road full time.” She held her gaze straight ahead as I pondered things, and sent a thought out loud; then looked up at me as if to say “well, what are you going to do?” I replied, “I cannot leave you out here; but you already know that.”

I wasn’t sure what I was in for. Now, that my decision had been made. I still had to manage to get her into my car; and I have no idea how she will respond. I had no carrier or any other comforts for her. Not to mention no air conditioning.

I made a couple of calls; however, just my luck that the vet in town was closed for the day. I missed them by about 15 minutes. My only option was to get her about 45 miles away, to an emergency clinic. All the while, I have no idea how to pay for this; with credit cards mostly filled up to start with, and I had no idea of the kind of care she would need. I figured with her condition, that distance, and no air conditioning in 90-degree temps; there would be little chance for her to survive the drive.

She was so smart.  She found a space under the passenger’s seat; and let herself go into a deep meditation. I had communicated to her what we were going to have to go through, to get her help. When we arrived, I saw no movement; and thought “oh my god, she is dead. She didn’t make it.” Then suddenly, she started stirring and moving.

Somehow, we managed to get out of the clinic with an application in to Care Credit and just under $400. It was all I had. I couldn’t believe this cat had no major health issues, mostly only dehydration. Although, her white blood cell count was off the wall; the highest they had ever seen. They said she had very little hope of making it; and it was likely she would pass in a few days or couple of weeks due to the infection in her body.

So, I picked up a few necessities; and home we went. What a trooper. We had a lot to accomplish in a short amount of time if she was going to be on the road with me in only 3 months.

When we got home, she found a place by my desk where I worked all of the time; and positioned herself in front of a large Amethyst Geode that I had, and laid her head to sleep on a large piece of Selenite that I had. It was like she was just allowing herself to rest; and to connect with the energy of these stones. After about 3 days, I could see she was starting to get some strength back. I was working with her on some holistic practices, nutritionally and energetically; although she seemed to know everything to do on her own.

The day then, came to have her re-checked; and so, into the regular vet we went. Her white blood cell count had seen a dramatic improvement. They basically said that whatever I was doing, I should keep doing it. After a couple of more visits, everything had come fully into check. They had estimated her age to be around 11-13 years old, which we later realized was on the higher end of this.

It wasn’t too long that she had gone from a 3 ½ lb. skin and bone look to a 7 ½ lb. healthy and happy cat. She was interacting with me in ways; I can only describe that a soul mate or twin flame would. We had a bond and a union that, I knew, was unbreakable. I have always had close connections with my cats; but this was something completely different and unique.

Her birth defects on her face, just added more character and charm; and it was a face that everyone would fall in love with. She had a presence that exuded love and wisdom. She was packed full of heart and soul.

My time in Utah was dwindling; and we now had to get busy on preparing to be on the road. It was time to get her on a leash and comfortable with being around loud noises, cars, and other animals. I was going to need her to be able to do hikes with me; and handle a variety of situations and experiences. I got a front animal pack, so that I could carry her on longer days; we were a team, and I wasn’t going to be leaving her in a vehicle.

Over the next few weeks, we worked hard together. We learned how to communicate and interact in subtle ways. After realizing the necessity of the leash, she just went with it, and she took right to things.

It was the middle of September and we were packed to the hilt. The tour schedule for workshops and events was set. We would tour through November, and then take a little break in December; and start up again in March. Everywhere we went, she was the talk of the town.  Whether she was hanging on my shoulder, walking a labyrinth with me, hiking a trail, or hanging in the pouch; she drew attention.

Never, in my wildest dreams would I have imagined traveling the U.S. with a cat; and having litterbox and all in a vehicle. People would photograph her, bikers would hold up their gang to get a picture with her, and 6 ½ foot broad shoulder guys in New Jersey melted in the presence of this small cat. She even had standing reservations at restaurants. Whether we were walking around a small historic town, or riding a ferry; she brought out smiles, love, and melted hearts.

I wish our time could have lasted forever; but it was not meant to be. Times grew tough in 2015; tougher than I could have imagined. We had already made one trip around the U.S. and were starting our second one. It was in January of that year, that I took her in to have some work done on her teeth; and she ended up having to have them all removed. $1200 - $1500 later (which I didn’t have) we were good to go again.

However, with this the news came that her kidneys were not in good shape. This was such a turn from the good health she had been in. My heart sank, not knowing how much time we would have left; but we picked up and continued on.

No matter how hard I tried; my venues encountered one challenge after another that year. Everything was falling through. Then in April, the work that I was relying on to keep the bills paid, was also taken from me. Resources were scarce, and I ended up living on a handful of pumpkin seeds for a week to provide her with what she needed.

It was May of 2015; and I could see she wasn’t doing well. I had tried everything, calling on my resources for help, people sent things to help her; but it wasn’t enough. In the early morning hours of May 12th 2015, she passed from this Earth. I am so grateful, for those that gave us a beautiful setting to be in during the last few days of her life. The place had many things in it that represented our journeys together. She never complained, even at the end. The evening before she passed, I held her outside where she could see the trees and the setting; and she was responsive to the birds, peaceful, and smiling.

Needless to say; I was devastated. Wasn’t it enough that everything had crashed out in my life? My mom was ready to pass and calling for me to come home; and I couldn’t go. There were no resources available; and even with what was being offered to get me there, there wasn’t enough for me to leave there. Now this; it was just too much. I was numb, shattered, and feeling as if I didn’t want to go on without her. The devastation was intense.

I think most psychologists would have been ready to pump me full of drugs or admit me. In my daze, the stress led to a nervous habit of removing my hair. I lost a huge amount of my hair in the front and back of my head; as I was convinced, that I needed to get out the damaged parts of it. Yes, I know; a strange place to put my attention. However, ironically, when it did start to grow back; my whole hair shifted to being variegated, just like Orlie’s fur was. It was even close to the same coloring.

I tried to carry on; and line up some events last minute, all the while I was preparing for one, I still had to do. Really, I was done; finished with this place that they call Earth. I really didn’t care about moving forward at that time. My heart and soul felt like it had been ripped out of me.

However, in these dark hours, the codes were born. I had been working with the components previously; and had been opening the doors by helping friends. However, it wasn’t until I spent time in reflection of my time with Orlie; that the light really came in.

With tears pouring down my face, I remembered the times that we shared together; everything from when we met, to the journey and experiences. I remembered her responses and reactions to the places we had been, and the things in those places. And, with all of this; I received a message from someone that I knew that did animal communication with pets that had passed on saying “remember me, just never forget me”. The profoundness of this was not just Orlie asking me to remember her and the connection; but asking me to remember the light of where I came from, where you come from, where we all come from. She was asking that we remember the love and compassion, and to greet each day with an excitement for what it holds; never allowing our challenges to overpower our spirit.

It came to me, that through our time together; she was sharing with me a way to distinguish the truth in anything and everything. She was sharing with me an understanding of what I refer to now as codes, which is the energy pattern that something operates on. She unfolded to me an understanding of how to bring all of my learning together and interpret the interaction of things. She was sharing with me a love so great; that she went through everything that she did, in order for me to get this.

I vowed at that time to continue to understand them; and to implement them into my life. I knew at that time, that I would be sharing these insights through posts and other ways to help others be able to maneuver in a world; that is beyond challenging. Orlie was a guide, a mentor, and to this day our connection continues to hold strong.

About a month after Orlie passed, my mother also passed. I had to take some time to “land” for a little while; and to take the time to meet responsibilities and pay down the debts that I had accrued. So, I landed in Sioux Falls, SD. I was worn and tired; but now, it was time to put the codes in motion. Every day since then, I have been working with them actively. I have been refining my life, taking the journey to explore caves and other places to bring forth this hidden wisdom that exists. Orlie has been there at my side, whether I needed someone to talk with or help finding a place to sleep.

I had no idea that when I rescued that little kitty back then, the adventure that I was in for. My world has forever changed. In May of 2017, I spent nearly a week honoring our connection and her passing; and then in June of 2017 spent time honoring our connection and time we met, by playing my singing bowl in recessed caves. Yes, she was there; and I could tell by the lives that were touched, and the people that stood still just to listen and feel the presence of that connection we share.

Now, here I am, writing again. I received messages from her that said the time is here to start to bring things out; to write and to share this story, to open others to the opportunity to also incorporate the codes into their daily lives.

As the understandings have come, I realize why things were the way they were. I see how the codes showed the influences I was dealing with; and why the challenges were so prevalent. It all seems to make perfect sense. They now provide me with the insight to make wiser choices in my life; and to not be caught off guard by things.

I hope that this guide will also provide you with ways to handle living on Earth that are compassionate. May it provide you with the insights to make wiser choices, on a day-to-day basis; and to ride with the influences that are active here on Earth each and every day.

Updates to the journey are provided by An in each edition of The Code Journey